“Learn to pause …
or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you.”
~Doug King
THE ICE CREAM FIX
How are you feeling right now?
I encourage you to pause until you can really answer this question. Are you tired, anxious, grateful, hungry, irritated, relaxed, at peace?
Now ask yourself, “What do I need?” Maybe you need a break, or a sense of connection, or comfort.
How often do you go through a day without ever checking-in? You may check-in with your family, with your friends, with your boss, but how often do you check-in with yourself?
Your feelings are like a baby’s cry, telling you what you need at any given moment. Just as a mother nurtures her child and attunes to her baby’s needs, you must nurture yourself, understanding what you really need.
Confusing messages early in life can make this a challenge. If you’ve associated certain responses with anger, joy, stress or sadness, it may be difficult to identify your real need, to remember that ice cream does not, in fact, soothe a broken heart.
Check-in with yourself throughout the day and identify the needs associated with your feelings. Remember wanting is different than needing. You may want to flip on the television or open that bottle of wine, but ask yourself, “What do I really need?”
RECIPE FOR CHECKING-IN
List the feelings that you commonly experience such as anger, sadness, fear, guilt, gratitude, happiness and pride. Write down the ways you express those feelings in action.
“When I’m sad I-”
Notice if the choices you make attend to the feelings. If a mother feeds her baby when the child needs changing, the baby’s unhappy feelings will remain and the need will not be met.
Rewrite the sentence with a supportive choice.
“When I’m sad I need-”
Consciously check-in with yourself several times a day. Be sure to both identify and attend to your feelings
Feeding the Starving Artist 